Friday, July 11, 2008

I Love Drive By Morons

This is a post from Topix. Topix is the only thing that possibly has lower standards than I do. I try my best to go lower and lower and lower but just can't catch up with the idiots and drive by morons.

The following is a post from one and my response. I'm putting it here since other bloggers have so much stuff and I have so little. This way I will not strain my creative talents.

Really is a Pity wrote:
that poor ole bogofree is morphing into such a persnickety curmudgeon in his advancing years. That new blog is just a pathetic regurgitation of the same old same old we've all had to endure from him over the past 2 1/2 months. I suspect that a lack of serotonin is causing his synapsis to misfire out of sequence. Too bad. He's become a mere shadow of his former self. Wit replaced by snarling jabs. Pity really.


***************************
Thanks for the ad, drive by moron, and I'm glad to have ANYONE take a gander at it - even a drive by moron. I'm lower on the depth charts than that Bush guy. I don't even read it myself since my ego doesn't need anymore dents than you have given me. Too many times you used "old" and I hate to be reminded.

I tell you it's tough writing those blog things. I spend about five minutes on them which is apparent if you read it. Gladys is more polished with all those videos and such. Great work. A skill. Art form with her and bathroom art with me. Seen some others like hers in baseball. Great graphics. Even that guy with the pug ugly 'stash (inside joke) makes my blog look pathetic. No wit at all. You might say I'm witless! Witless! OMG! That is so freaking clever I'll have to work it into a blog.

I hate to feel so lonesome and loathsome so I'll write (or is that right?) somemore now that I have such a following. Maybe MB will link to it? Hey, even LL checks in with a comment. That's how low brow it is. Hey, it attracted you. Believe me I know ALL about morons. Not me! I'm talking you and LL. I'm a saint!

In a way I'm shocked that anyone would find anything I write of any interest negative or otherwise. Any PR is good PR. Look at the tribe. They live off bad PR. That Ferson spins better than a top.

I'm sure my traffic count will go way up if I could figure out or even care about it now that you have reviewed it. Review? Good name for a blog. Talk about a get a life person. Reading my stuff! LMAO! Get a hobby. Weed our garden. Great hobby for you. Turn over the compost. Hey....I could have called my blog The Compost Pile.

As you can tell from the blog title who our star is! Ms. Clark herself. Actually, very little on her. Not much left to say. She's said it all.

Man...I wish I was a shadow of my former self. Those pounds. Blame it on the Red Sox. When they win I reward myself with a coffee roll. Been some good eating this season. Did the same with the C's and the Giants - I'm a big NY (via NJ) Football Giants fan. Right here in the belly of the Patriot beast. Three titles in one year! Those Honey Dew coffee rolls. Great. And the political talk that goes on in that place. Stay away. Too many pro types.

Looks like CFO has managed to round up all the drive by morons! Hope, drive by moron, that you are not on their books. That would be really hitting the bottom. Snarl. snarl. snarl. LMAO! Even lower than LL posting on my blog. That's Death Valley low.

Oh....I have a baseball blog. Interested? Naw....I'll let you "research" it out. Great stuff the other day on RISP percentages. Planning to do a piece on Red Sox ST in San Antonio in 1926. Have a web site also. I'd have you sign up but I'm the resident moron and you look like a talent that could easily replace me. So stay away!

37 comments:

Barry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bogofree said...

Sorry I missed it.

moron said...

Good morning blogger!
I am confirming that I lied on Topix.
Don't care about the politics.
But I do love the bosox commentary.
Personally I think we way over pay these steroidal fools and shouldn't put up with their obnoxious 5 year old behaviors.
Manny should have been benched and fined heftily for flattening the elderly road secretary recently. What a spoiled brat.
Only the yankees (always small caps) have bigger egos.
Hope we whoop their asses in 2008.
Cheers.
-Drive By Moron

moron said...

On the other hand
If the Babe's curse were reinstated,
I could afford tickets again.
High Definition just doesn't give me the same ambience as the sights, smells, and sounds of the field.

moron said...

Which Red Sox player in your opinion is most deserving of a higher midseason grade from the Herald?
Alex Cora (B-)

Jacoby Ellsbury (B)

Julio Lugo (D+)

David Ortiz (B-)

Manny Ramirez (B-)

Jason Varitek (C-)

Josh Beckett (B-)

Clay Buchholz (B-)

Daisuke Matsuzaka (B)

Hideki Okajima (C)

Another player

moron said...

Curious
Why do so many top notch ball players seems to hail from the Dominican Republic?

bogofree said...

Moron don't get me started on Manny. This was the old ownerships gift to the new ownership. A typical Red Sox player I grew up with - the big, big bat and little else. Sox fans are dazzled by the numbers and Manny does produce. But the rest of the package? Screw 'em. They could not give the guy away a few years back. I just wish the old guy was Will McDounough if you remember that from 20 years ago.

Tough on the grade. I'll get the Herald and read it this morning on the exercise bike. Lugo was a gift at D+. I may have put Beckett a notch higher at B and dropped Bucholz down a notch. My old buddy JD Drew is forcing me to eat a grand helping of crow. He's the first half MVP to me. Of course, my favorite is Pedroia. I use to love guys like Martin, Fox, and Courtney who would just play hard and with an arrogance that makes my posts seem tame.

Sox need some pop in the pitching. Everytime I think Manny Delcarmen is going to take a step forward he blows up. Okajima is beginning to remind me of a lefthanded Heathcliff. Hansen needs a ton of work. Fatolo Colon will be on the DL on and off the rest of his career - if he even has one. Timlin is shot. Even Papelbon has his moments. And Dice K? Flat out the most frustrating pitcher I have seen since following the team. But those starters are doing the job. If Masterson can solve the bullpen then it'll be a walk to the playoffs.

Now, don't worry about lying on Topix. That is directly related to Jessie. The JP Syndrome. I read one of her posts and I magnify things out of sight. I wonder if baseball has expansion Clark CT will get a team?

The tickets are priced out of reach for most. Many fans are victims of the teams success. My daughter has actually got some bargins this year as we went to two games at $5 over face value. My daughter and I saw the Bucholz no hitter and see saw the Lester one. My sister has season tickets and we get four pairs a year and road trips are always an option.

Thanks, for the post, Drive By Moron, always love to talk Red Sox.

bogofree said...

The DR loves their baseball, Moron, and they are where the Cuban market was in the 50s. Everyone plays and they know it's a big way to get out and make real money. Everyone plays.

In this country it is overly organized and kids have a million options. When I coached in town we use to have some kids playing hockey and soccer along with baseball.

There are a few great books on Hispanic baseball. Just got through with one called Far From Home by Tim Wedel and Jose Villeges.

bogofree said...

Drive by

I hear you on the politics. I use to me a real junkie on that stuff until I realized how totally full of manure the political parties were. Depressing.

Then you have the great debate in Mboro over the gin mill. Amazing. No matter what I write I'll piss someone off. Like my mother use to say: "You can't satify them even if you s**t ice cream." I just get the feeling the anti side is really drifting into moonbat territory - expect that when things fall apart. Pro side is just seeing $$$$ ring up.

And those Town Meetings! With my short little attention span that is torture.

moron said...

Prior to 1987, baseball was a game that helped my insomnia. Of course, I was the typical Little League Mom ranking out the coach when he benched my son, spending $$$ on rookie cards and special edition sets (still unopened to retain their value), and took my kid to Fenway night games where he learned every expletive possible from typical Red Sox fanatics.

Never took the game seriously until my brother took us to an Oakland A's home game to see Mark McGwire and Jose Conseco teamed up as the "Bash Brothers."

The sight of the gorgeous hunk of 6' 4" 240 lbs of rippling muscle cruising the bases woke me up from my coma. Pure testosterone!

Of course, in the end, Conseco proved to be a loser, albeit an amusing one. But I began paying attention to the game from that point on and am now a diehard BoSox fan. Sat on my sofa biting my nails down to nubs the year the Babe's curse was broken.

Just read that Conseco wrote a book, "Vindicated", in which he names A Rod as turning him onto steroids and blasts him for a dalliance with his wife. LOL Probable trash, but beats the hell out of reading DOR and MMA stats or keeping up with the casino debacle.

Thanks Jose for turning me on to baseball. Still a fun ride.
-Love, DRIVE BY MORON (always large caps)

bogofree said...

Drive By...try this site as it is one I have with a few other folks. The main go to guy is 'Braska. Sign up.Post. I'm OJ on the site.

http://www.newenglandsportscountry.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1

Sox fans are a special breed. I tell folks in other parts of the country that a Sox game is like a college football game. That intense. The most knowledgeable fans in the country. We are endlessly fighting with each other but if another fan from elsewhere steps in we tear their heart out. Where else can the release of Lou Merloni become a three day talk show topic?

Funny Fenway story. A few years ago several of my sons and myself where seated in the bleachers. One son, Bob, had already sampled a few adult beverages and before the game apologized to the family in front of us. Mom, Dad and two kids. One a boy about eleven. They asked why apologize? He said if things go bad he'll be rather crude....much like what you wrote about. Around the 5th inning the Sox starter is really getting hammered and the fans were restless. The kid in front of us stands up and says: "Tito! Take him the f**k out. He's throwing s**T." Naturally the folks around us were shocked! Two offered to buy the kid a beer. Ah...family tradition in the Fenway bleachers.

The players certainly discoved the use a additives for performance inhancement and Jose certainly is on the top of the list along with Bonds.

My wife hates baseball and I am usually banded from her immediate area since my language and assessment of players changes pitch to pitch. She cannot come close to comprehending the emotional investment we out in. A pitcher will go 2-0 and I'm ready to ship him to a Gulag. My daughter is quite capable of matching me in any antics which makes it that much worse. My wife started to follow the Patriots a few years back (oh...Tommmy!) and then this last season the ultimate in pain happened. As a Giants fan I watched and enjoyed the Pats demise. Needless to say my wife was in a depressive state for days and even I, shocking as it may seem, had enough common sense to not say anything. Granted, I may have said things like: "That's one GIANT hamburger." You get the idea. But after a week of mourning I was finally able to say: "Welcome to my world. Now you know how Sox fans feel."

After 2004 I took my daughter to a near by cemetary. I knew what to expect and was not disappointed. Even Sox jackets drapped on graves.

moron said...

Kudos to J D Drew for his 7th inning game tying HR, earning him MVP. Whoa! What a long game. Lots of java to lite a fire under my butt today. GOOD MORNING, BOGOFREE! LOL

moron said...

Time for an old classic:
Costello: Well then who's on first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow's name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first baseman.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy playing...

Abbott: Who is on first!

Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.

Abbott: That's the man's name.

Costello: That's who's name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who's playing first?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy that gets...

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Who gets the money...

Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Whose wife?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Abbott: What's wrong with that?

Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does he sign...

Abbott: That's how he signs it.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

Abbott: No. What is on second base.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: One base at a time!

Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.

Costello: I'm not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?

Abbott: That's right.

Costello: Ok.

Abbott: All right.

PAUSE

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Abbott: No. Who's playing first.

Costello: What's on first?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again!

PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who's playing third base?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: You don't want who on second?

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.

Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.

Abbott: Who's playing first.

Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first!

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: The left fielder's name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because!

Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The pitcher's name?

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: You don't want to tell me today?

Abbott: I'm telling you now.

Costello: Then go ahead.

Abbott: Tomorrow!

Costello: What time?

Abbott: What time what?

Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?

Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.

Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Gotta a catcher?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: The catcher's name?

Abbott: Today.

Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.

Abbott: Now you've got it.

Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

PAUSE

Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.

Abbott: So they tell me.

Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

PAUSE

Abbott: That's all you have to do.

Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.

Abbott: Yes!

Costello: Now who's got it?

Abbott: Naturally.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Naturally?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's different.

Costello: That's what I said.

Abbott: You're not saying it...

Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Abbott: You throw it to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: That's what I said!

Abbott: You ask me.

Costello: I throw the ball to who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Now you ask me.

Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That's it.

Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!

Abbott: What?

Costello: I said I don't give a darn!

Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

bogofree said...

Moron

I usually don't watch the AS game but for some reason I watched....and watched ...and watched. No going through the motions on this one. Both teams really played hard.

I love it when they introduce Tito: "And manager for the AL All Stras from the WORLD CHAMPION Boston Red Sox, Terry Francona. Nice start and then the MVP finish for Drew. More in your face for the yankee fans.

I have really hammered JD last season. Worse than Jessie. This year he is making me visit the

http://www.crowbusters.com/recipes.htm

That Abbott and Costello routine is on Youtube. I never really tire of it.

moron said...

Dirty Water: Talk Sox Blog
http://www.enterprisenews.com/blogs/x1303576231

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